The real threat
by Ellstra
Summary: Miri envied the blonde woman from the Enterprise so much and yet there was absolutely no danger from her. Set right before the end of 'Miri'.


Miri didn't come to say goodbye to the leaving crew. She didn't hurry to give her farewell to Jim, which astonished Janice. She had assumed the girl would come, considering her very obvious love or at least infatuation for the Captain. But the young woman kept standing away, leaning against a wall. She was holding her forearm, pressing exactly the spot where the taint had been before she was injected with the antibody. She stood facing away from the crowd of children and tried to do her best to ignore what her heart was telling her. She wanted to run towards Jim, embrace him and tell him all the things she felt in herself but didn't understand. She was holding sobs that threatened to escape her lips; she didn't wish to cry. She was not this weak and even if she was, she wasn't going to let him see it. He wouldn't want her emotions; all he cared about was that stupid ship and even more stupid woman.

Jim knew very well what Miri was thinking about, now when he knew what Miri felt for him – and he knew that for sure – he could tell what went through her mind very easily. He knew what she intended and for a while he considered acting on it – pretend as if he knew nothing about it and disappear from her life for good. But he knew she would be upset if he didn't speak to her.

Jim walked straight to her and waited for her response. He didn't wish to push her too far, but he assumed she would do something. After a while the girl really raised her eyes to meet his sight. He smiled at her and she felt a lump in her throat as she realised the truth, for the first time the whole truth. That he was leaving and she would never see him again. He was going to disappear among the stars and nothing would remind her of him. And yet she would never forget him. She didn't dare to hope that he would remember her, but she managed to dream about it.

"May I... may I embrace you?" she asked sheepishly and blushed. Jim's smiled widened and if she was a bit more used to seeing adults smile, she would realise it was not a genuine smile and that in fact Jim was sad. This robbed her of a precious feeling.

Jim didn't say anything and pulled Miri into his arms, just like he did in the hospital when he told her about the disease. She wrapped her arms around his chest and suddenly she lost the ability to control her emotions. A few big tears escaped her eyes and soaked into the fabric of his torn, dirty uniform. She sobbed and he caressed her back tenderly.

"I don't want you to go away," she said the words she had previously forbidden herself to pronounce. She knew it would only make Jim feel worse; he had to return back to his ship and save other people. But she wanted him to hold her like this throughout her whole life.

"I know," Jim whispered into her ear and she shuddered. She raised her head so she was facing Jim now. Their faces were very close and he could finally see the tears on her cheeks and in her big dark eyes.

"And I know you can't stay. But I don't want you to leave. And I also want to go with you, but I know I have to stay here for the other children." She said quietly and stared into his eyes intently.

"You're very wise, Miri," Jim smiled, "you'll be a great woman."

"I'm after all ten times as old as you are," she replied and her lips curled a bit.

"That's true. Good luck, Miri," he let go of her and she stepped back.

"Good luck, Jim. I'm sure you'll save many other girls like me." She breathed out and a slight remorse crept into her voice. He laughed.

"Don't worry. There are never two girls who are the same," he explained, "Certainly not such strong girls like you."

"Goodbye," she nodded to him and that small movement indicated to Jim that this was the time to leave.

"Bye, Miri. As my friend would say: Live long and prosper." He smiled for the last time and turned around. She stood there in bewilderment and tried to understand who would say such a strange sentence and repeat it so Jim could use it as a quote.

She was just about to go inside the house; she didn't need to be present to see the man she had fallen in love with vanish from her life. But somebody stopped her, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She hoped it would be Jim, but she knew she was being foolish; she had felt Jim's hands on her body before and they were significantly bigger. She turned around and there she was; the woman she so envied.

"I know what you are thinking and I don't want you to keep thinking that way because you're wrong." Janice said and her face was flushed. Miri raised an eyebrow; she had no idea what Janice was talking about.

"You think Captain Kirk has prioritised me over you but that is not true. I even think she feels more for you than he would ever feel for me. No, don't shake your head, it's true." Janice took Miri's hand into hers. "I'm telling you the truth. I do love him, just like you do. It's very difficult not to love him, if it is even possible."

"I saw him hugging you. He was watching your legs. And he wanted you back when the children kidnapped you," Miri said defiantly and slipped her hand from Janice's.

"That's who he is, Miri. That's why we love him. He's simply this good and nice, to everybody. He feels responsible for his crew and I am a part of his crew. He wanted to help you because you needed help and he's a helping person. Do you understand?" Janice kept convincing Miri but she didn't touch her again.

"But... I really thought... it seemed..." Miri babbled and her cheeks went red and Janice smiled indulgently.

"You have a lot to learn, my dear Miri. It may have seemed like that, but the truth is that my love for him is just as platonic as yours. He doesn't like me the way I like him," she looked at Miri rather sadly.

"Why?" The girl asked only and her huge eyes scanned Janice as two tricorders.

"Because he loves somebody else," Janice looked over at the men who kept waiting for her involuntarily. Miri followed her gaze and frowned.

"But there is no woman but you," she said in confusion. Janice smiled bitterly.

"No, there's not." She nodded.

"So she's up there in the ship?" Miri inquired and looked up to the sky as if she tried to see the _Enterprise._

"No. He doesn't love a woman," Rand explained and made a pause for a while, "he loves Mr Spock. Even though neither of them knows yet."

"That's not possible," Miri exclaimed, "Mr Spock is a man."

"Everything is possible in love, Miri." Janice replied sadly. "You will find out yourself. But the truth is that the Captain loves his First officer."

"But he's so... cold and distant and emotionless!" Miri hissed.

"That is very right, my dear, but that's whom the Captain loves. I don't tell you to get used to it, but this is how the world works. It is unfair, but the sooner you accept it as a truth, the better." Janice shrugged. She watched the girl carefully and smiled. "One day you'll understand it yourself."

"Don't say that! I'm not a child." Miri protested.

"No, you're not. But you have no experience. Which is nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed of myself." The girl frowned and folded her arms on her chest.

"No. That's right." Janice nodded. "Goodbye then."

"Goodbye," Miri snapped and went into the house. Such nonsense! As if a man could love a man! The terrible woman was only trying to ease her conscience. Miri fell on one of the indigent beds and burst into tears. As if it wasn't bad enough without this confusing conversation!

By the time Miri stopped crying and looked out from a window, the crew of the _Enterprise _was already gone. She watched her fellow settlers and comprehended what Jim had told her: "That's why you don't want to play with them. You're becoming a grown-up."

And for the first time in more than three hundred years of her life, she wasn't afraid of growing up.


End file.
